


The Ghost of Us

by highwhorelock



Category: Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments (Books)
Genre: Angst, Coping, Emotional Hurt, Ficlet, Hurt, M/M, Malec is mentioned, SAPHAEL AF, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 05:23:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6891871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/highwhorelock/pseuds/highwhorelock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon lost his memories in the demon realm but now he regains them back after he is a full pledged Shadowhunter and a familiar face comes haunting him with the once beautiful past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ghost of Us

The pain coursing through his body, thrumming in his veins, made Simon double over. It was agonizing and it felt real but that wasn’t what made him scream. It was the bond that they shared, it was fading like dying embers of a fire. It felt real because it was real but not to Simon, to Raphael.

 

His name derived from the angels tore from his lips, desperate and pleading. Simon was on his knees, tears mixing with dust as Clary came to comfort him. Raphael was still there, Simon could feel it, clinging on. I have to see him. And then he wasn’t. Just like that, he was gone and so did a part of Simon.

 

“Take me instead.” Simon said to Asmodeus, not even surprised at the sudden surge of confidence. He could see the look of his friends around him telling him not to do it but what he didn’t miss was the hint of gratitude in Alec’s eyes and oddly, that was enough for him to go through with this. Clary was there, still telling him not to despite it being the only way out. That’s his best friend for you. “You won’t remember us. Simon, you won’t remember him.” 

 

I know. He wanted to tell her but he was ashamed. Ashamed of taking the easy way out, at least that’s what he thought he was doing. You can’t be hurt by someone you can’t remember, right? 

 

Mi amore. He could hear his voice, God, that lovely and haunting voice. 

 

I’m sorry, Raphael.

 

“Clary, I’ll be fine.” He nodded and gave a half-smile to all of them, the smile softening when his eyes landed on Magnus and Alec. He was glad to be the key on their way home and he was glad that he was able to preserve that love as well. “I guess I’ll see you around.” He said oh-so-casually while stepping forward to the great demon.

 

He thought he was ready but it felt like he was losing Raphael again. All those memories, the happy ones, the sad ones, everything of him, he wanted back the moment Asmodeus took it. 

 

No, please.

 

His Raphael’s beautiful smile, the way he would whisper Spanish endearments in his ear, the kisses on his throat and would lead to his lips, they were becoming a blur like Simon was going blind. Raphael, please, I’m sorry. And then, nothing.

 

Years passed and what interesting years they had been. Simon’s training in the Academy, they way he ascended into being a Shadowhunter, it was surreal to him yet here he was, in his room in the Institute as a full Shadowhunter, carrying the name of Lovelace. The ceremony was a success but what caught him off-guard was the surge of memories he had lost came rushing back. He knew he had lost a lot of memories, knew that he was some sort of hero though he didn’t feel like it, knew that there was this boy in his life that he wanted to remember but couldn’t quite grasp. 

 

During his time in the Academy, bits and pieces came back to him, some memories were innocent while others made him flush, others caused pain that he didn’t understand but now he did. He remembered everything of him. The haunting present he temporarily escaped back then now coming back and Simon welcomed it. How he missed Raphael. His Raphael. He sat on the foot of his bed in silence, the memories of his lover overwhelming him. 

 

Tears pricked the corner of his eyes but he willed them not to fall, his grip on the seraph blade tightening but steady. Simon lowered his head, murmuring his name like a prayer, missing how it passed through his lips, before he stared at the blade. In a low and steady voice, he said “Raphael.” And the blade glowed fiercely it in his hands and in that moment, his darkness was kept at bay, replacing it with light.


End file.
